When your ex is dating someone else

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A little bit of bruised ego is natural but if you become consumed by his new relationship or exploits, it may be time to ask whether you’re really over him, and if you are; what is it about your own life that makes this news so unbearable.

Often you’ll find that the reason it bothers you is because you have taken his actions as some sort of reflection on you and the past you shared together.

5) Accept that you are bound to feel a bit strange – Jaysus we’re human and it means that when you find out initially it will feel very weird.

But that’s normal and don’t jump to the conclusion that what you’re feeling is a signal that you want him back.

But here on some tips to help you cope: 1) Cut off your information sources – that means if you’re keeping in touch with your ex either stop the chit chat about your respective exploits or better still, stop talking.

People don’t move on by switching straight from lovers to friends. If it’s friends feeding you information, tell them to stop giving it.

Instead of thinking ‘Oh sh*t, the bastard can’t have cared that much if he can get over me so quickly!

’ remind yourself that if he has truly dashed out too soon, it will probably end up with a negative result.

I’ve often found myself in the latter corner and you tend to find yourself there when your ex has gone beyond the point of no return, there’s closure, and you recognise that you’re actually better off without him.

You have no control over him or his life but you do over yours.

4) Remember that breaking up does mean moving on – It doesn’t mean that you remain stagnant and grieve over the relationship forever more.

Someone does have to be first unless you can orchestrate a dead heat. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.

Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.

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